And Never Say Goodbye: A Town of Destiny Novel Read online

  After she declined it, he called back. She accepted the call and spoke through the Bluetooth in the car. “What’s up. It’s raining and I want to focus.”

  “What…the…hell…was…that?”

  She swallowed the lump in her throat. “What was what?”

  “You know damned well what, McShane. You’re lucky you’re not here or I’d…”

  “You’d what, Wolf?”

  “Are you trying to push me away? Is that it?”

  “Are you still in the office?”

  “Yes…I was in the nap room until I was interrupted.” His voice seethed through the line, low and dangerous.

  “You’re welcome?” Her heart pounded at the sound of his anger. He’d get over it. She’d hoped.

  “I never thanked you. Nothing to thank you for. If you don’t want to be with me, then just tell me. When I opened that door and Mora Cora stood there…” He exhaled before continuing. “Just be honest with me, Mallory, and I’ll find a way to forget you.”

  But she didn’t want that. Her heart didn’t want that. “If you’re still there, I can stop at your house and let Sadie out.”

  He gave a resigned sigh. “I’m still here.”

  “Okay, I’ll run over there. Key under the pot?”

  “Yeah. You don’t have to do that. I really don’t want anything from you right now. I want to be angry for a while.”

  “I’m not doing it for you. I love that dog now, too, you know.”

  “She loves you, too.” His voice sounded so small.

  Her eyes misted over. “Then that settles it. Just don’t expect me to clean up like your maid service does.” She smirked, wiping her wet cheek while turning down his street toward his house.

  “Yeah, and no presents under my pillow, either.”

  She snickered. “No worries there.”

  “I’m going tonight to Peoria, so don’t be surprised when you see me in the van.”

  “No, you’re too tired. I’ll be fine. I’ve done a few babies before.”

  “You need another coordinator in there anyway, so might as well be me. I’ll stand in the back if you don’t need me, preparing the back tables, but just in case. I can handle that.”

  She sighed. “Fine. Just remember this is my OR, so don’t try bossing.”

  “I’m not saying a word. I’m really angry at you, McShane.”

  Her voice dropped. “I know. I’m sorry. That was stupid of me.”

  “Yes, it was. We need to talk about this, but not tonight. I’m too tired.”

  “Okay. I’m at your house now so will let you go.”

  “Thanks for doing that.”

  “You’re welcome.” She hung up and stared through the window. She’d never heard him sound so solemn before, even after a soul-crushing case. Turning off the ignition, she stepped out and headed toward the porch. The rain had stopped, and the sun tried to make a late appearance.

  “Hi, Mallory!”

  She squinted under her hand. Oh, God. Not now. Not ever. She nodded and smiled, trying to jog up the steps, jumping over puddles.

  Mrs. Katz continued. “Lawson working?”

  “He is. I’m helping out with Sadie.”

  She stood with her hands on her hips, curlers in her hair, same housecoat from the other night. “You must live close. How nice. You dating Lawson?”

  Mallory drew her brows together, taken aback by the bluntness.

  “I’m sorry to be nosy. Bad habit of mine. I just noticed he seems different…happier. I haven’t seen him whistle or smile so openly before. I thought maybe…well, I like seeing him like that is all. And you seem nice—very pretty.” She smiled a genuine smile this time.

  She returned the friendly smile. “Thank you, but no…no, we just work together. I’m glad he’s nice to you. Don’t allow him to be grumpy.” She smiled and waited for her to leave. She didn’t know if she knew about his key position.

  “Oh, I don’t. He’d try to be that way with my daughter I think to discourage her, but it only made her more interested. Girls these days…” She pulled her coat closed and waved. “See you later, Mallory. Say hi to Lawson for me. Tell him not to work so hard.”

  “I will.” She watched Mrs. Katz slip inside her house and then bent to retrieve the key. Once inside, Sadie ran to her with wagging tail, spinning around in a circle.

  “You need to go out, don’t you, girl?” She followed her red-haired friend and let her outside to chase whatever had caught her attention.

  After cleaning up some dog messes, she poured food into Sadie’s bowl and refilled her water. She let Sadie back in and told her to eat.

  She noticed the house was still clean. He was at work all yesterday, so that was most likely why. As she walked around, she searched for pictures of his family, anything, but there were none. That was until she walked into a den/office next to the living room.

  A picture of a beautiful woman around age twenty sat on the corner of his desk. She had strawberry blonde hair and startling blue eyes. Her smile was cool and confident. A streak of jealousy raced through her. Who was this woman? But he had told her he was never in love, never had a serious relationship except in college. Was that her? Did he carry a torch for his college sweetheart?

  Sadie ran to her, looking for her treat. She bent to ruffle her head and walked to the kitchen after giving the picture one last glance.

  ***

  The van drove up to her house right on time at 9:30, a sky full of stars hovering above it. Her cart was ready to go, all packed up. She pulled it to the back of the van where Mike stood. She could see Gallagher’s silhouette behind the tinted windows, looking down at his glowing laptop.

  “Thanks, Mike.”

  He smiled before he lifted her cart inside the trunk. “Go and get in. He’s not in the best mood tonight, so I’d steer clear,” he said, glancing towards Gallagher.

  “Will do. I’m sure he’s just tired.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know. I’ve seen him tired before, but this is different. I think someone might have actually turned the Wolf down for once.”

  Her eyes widened as her heart quickened. She let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” Climbing in on her side, she met his eyes for a brief moment. “Hey.” She closed her door and buckled up.

  “Hey.” He gave a tight smile and returned to his screen.

  Oh, this was going to be a fun ride. She’d rather ride on a bareback camel through Chicago Cubs traffic than this torment. She cleared her throat and pulled out her laptop. It was strange to think that just last night they were clawing at each other. Now, they barely spoke.

  Her hair still hung damp down her back, so she searched in her computer bag for a hairband. “Damn,” she whispered.

  His hand hit her arm, holding a black hairband.

  “Where…”

  “You left it last night,” he said under his breath so Mike wouldn’t hear.

  “Oh, thank you.” She wrapped her hair up in its usual style and glanced at him. She narrowed her eyes, hiding a smile. “Why do you have it?”

  He gave a frustrated sigh, continuing to stare at his computer. “I found it on the floor and stuck it in my pocket.”

  “Oh.”

  He chuckled.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing at all.”

  Shaking her head, she sank into her seat and opened her laptop. He was not a nice grump. Mean to the bone was what he was. Mike was right. She needed to steer clear.

  She glanced over to find his eyes closed, his laptop ready to fall between his legs. Debating on whether she should grab it, she chewed the inside of her lip and tried to ignore it. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see it falling more and more as the road bumped beneath them.

  Reaching over, she caught it before it crashed to the floor. She used both hands to close it quietly, but his eyes popped open.

  “What are you doing, McShane? Going for a feel?” A hint of humor mixed with desi
re filled his sleepy eyes. “You don’t have to sneak.”

  “You know I was…” She slid back to her position, avoiding his stare.

  He laughed. “I’m just playing. Thanks. Didn’t realize how tired I was. I slept a little while at home. Oh, and thanks again for feeding Sadie. I may be angry about earlier, but I’m grateful you did that.”

  She stiffened. Reminding her of being at his house also reminded her of a pretty woman saving a smile just for him while he worked at his desk or whatever the hell he did there. Gritting through her teeth, she said, “I said it was fine. Oh, and Mrs. Katz told me to say hi to you.”

  “Great. She’ll have us married.”

  Perfect opportunity. She turned to him. “Why? Did she think you were married before?”

  His head snapped towards her. “What? No, why? Look, I’m not the one with the secretive past. You’re the married one.”

  “Not anymore.”

  “I know, but you still have some connection to him, to Scott, right? I mean with your promise and all.” Anger shot from his eyes.

  “I do, but it’s not marital.”

  “Aren’t you divorced?”

  “No.”

  “What? You’re still married?” He sat straight up, placing his laptop on the floor.

  She shook her head and looked out her window, watching rows of cornstalks roll by. “I’m not divorced. I’m widowed. Scott died ten years ago.”

  Chapter Ten

  “We’re here, kids.” Mike entered the lane for emergency drop-offs. He pushed the button to open the trunk and jumped out.

  Lawson laid his hand on her arm. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

  She pulled her arm away and opened her door, her computer bag slung over her shoulder. “Let’s go. Mike’s waiting.”

  Stepping into the empty elevator, she leaned against the wall and watched the numbers rise.

  “Mal…”

  “No. I can’t right now. I wasn’t ready to tell you then.”

  “But why?”

  The elevator jolted to a stop before the doors whooshed open. She walked out first, her hands shaking as she pulled her cart.

  “McShane, talk to me,” he pleaded, catching up to her side.

  “Just remember it’s my OR in there. If I need your help, I’ll let you know.” She walked into the patient’s room, her eyes shifting from the crib holding the child and over to the monitor. “We have consent?” she asked one of the coordinators writing on a clipboard.

  “We do. The parents stepped out for a minute, but they’ll be back to say goodbye.”

  “I can’t deal with grieving parents right now, Joanne.” Mallory documented the numbers on the heart monitor with shaking hands. She held them still to calm down and then continued to write.

  “I know you hate these. Why is Lawson here?”

  Mallory glanced at the wall of a man with arms crossed over his chest like a security guard, waiting for her cry. Well, he’d wait all damn day. “In case I need help.”

  “You need help?” Joanne said, raising her brows.

  “He usually gets the baby cases.”

  Joanne nodded and returned to her clipboard.

  She walked to the crib and looked down. Looked like an angel. A sleeping angel. A breath wracked her chest and she gulped for air.

  “You okay, McShane?” Gallagher asked, stepping closer.

  Her hand flew out to stop him. “I’m fine.”

  He resumed his position near the wall. “I’m going to scrub in.” He started for the door when the grieving parents entered.

  “Are you here to take my baby?” the mother asked, staring at Mallory.

  Taking a deep breath, she donned her mask of steel. “I’m so sorry for your loss. What you’re doing is so utterly courageous…” She glanced up to clear her tears and back at the parents.

  Gallagher joined in. “Do you have anything you’d like to say, maybe something that you loved when Joshua was here?” He grabbed Mallory’s hand and the mother’s. “You can share it with us or say it in your mind, but I like to take a moment to share and then a moment of silence.”

  “Oh, I…” she began.

  “He was a good boy,” the father began,” the best son a man could ask for.” He laughed through his tears. “He loved dinosaurs, knew all their names. He was smart for two.”

  “He was,” the mother added. “He’d sit on my lap and count my fingers and then count his before he’d press them together. His was so tiny compared to mine...” She sniffled and let out a sob.

  Mallory sucked in her breath and looked to Gallagher to end this. Now.

  Gallagher responded to her unspoken plea. “Well, that’s perfect then. Let’s have a moment of silence for Joshua.” He bowed his head and closed his eyes.

  Mallory followed when the parents bowed their heads, forcing herself not to make a sniffling sound. She couldn’t believe how strong Gallagher appeared. Stone was what he was, but his heart reached out to these parents. That was all that mattered. She tugged his fingers, rubbing them with her thumb.

  They each lifted their heads and nodded. Joanne watched from the chair, clearing her throat.

  The mother finally spoke. “I feel he’ll be safe with you. Take care of our boy. Our family is waiting for us out in the waiting room.”

  Mallory felt the urge to hug this broken woman, but she held her hands at her sides instead. “We’ll care for him as if he were our own. I can promise you that.”

  The mother wrapped her slender arms around Mallory in a brief hug. “Thank you.” She then walked to the crib and touched her son’s cheek one last time, pushing the plastic T-Rex into his hand. “I love you, Josh. I hope there’s lots of dinosaurs in Heaven.” She wiped her tears and joined her husband, embracing as they left the room.

  As soon as they walked out, Mallory let it out. She smashed her hands to her face to choke down the tears, but it was useless.

  Gallagher ran to her and folded her into his arms. “You’re not used to these. I’m sorry.” He rocked her in his arms before she pushed him away.

  “I’m fine. I’d have to be cold not to feel what that mother was feeling, right? I’d have to be ice, but isn’t that my name?” She cleared her throat and turned to Joanne. “We’re ready.”

  “Hang on,” he said and grabbed a bottle of lotion before walking to the crib. He rubbed some on his palms and then on the child’s little body. “You sure you’re okay?” Gallagher asked, looking over his shoulder.

  She nodded, at a loss for words. “Do you always do that?”

  “What? The lotion? With the kids, I do. It’s not a big deal, just makes them smell nice.” He smiled and returned. “There you go, buddy.”

  The nursing staff rushed in to roll the crib out, with all the dangling cords connected to the monitors. One would think the child was simply going to surgery.

  Moving out of the way, she gave Lawson a small smile. “Learn something new about you every day.”

  “As long as it’s not bad, I’m okay with that.” He winked and headed for the hall.

  ***

  After she prepped and draped the child, she took the Bovie from the scrub nurse, with continuing shaky hands. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she made the first incision.

  Gallagher spoke in a calm voice. “Just remember there’s not a lot of fat. Everything is right there, bound closer.”

  She nodded and smiled at the boy’s lifeless face before moving on to recover his organs. She then asked for ice, and the scrub nurse helped her pack it inside the chest cavity while she flushed the organs.

  “You got this,” Gallagher said behind her.

  No music today. Only the sounds of monitors beeping, trays being moved, and instruments clinking against each other as they were used.

  Sweat dripped down her forehead and into her eyes. “Nurse?”

  Roberta stepped up and wiped Mallory’s brow. She gave her a warm smile. “Anything else, Mallory?”

 
She shook her head. Gallagher’s presence practically knocked her over. She could feel the intensity of his gaze burning through her back.

  Now the part that paralyzed her, the part that if she messed up and cut a vein or lymph node, she’d lose the organ. Tiny organs that depended on her recovering them for other children or small adults waiting.

  She glanced behind her to find Gallagher giving her the thumbs up. Nodding, she returned to the child and began to recover.

  An hour later, after closing Joshua back up, and when the organs had all been set on trays to be placed into bags, she let out a sigh and a silent thank you to the ceiling.

  The nurses as well as the anesthesiologist wiped their tears away after witnessing another miracle, a chance at life for another, and tapped her on the shoulder. “Great work, Mallory.”

  Crinkling her eyes, she squinted over her mask, wanting to snap it off and get out of there. She looked back down at the boy’s face. “You did good, Josh.” She squeezed his hand and pressed her hand against his, giving him a high five.

  Gallagher rubbed her shoulder. “Amazing.”

  “Isn’t he?” She patted her mask against the fallen tear.

  “I meant you.”

  “Thank you. It helped knowing you were there.”

  “That was all you. Don’t try to be humble now.” His blue eyes crinkled over his mask, matching hers.

  The nursing team came in to move the child to the gurney, but Gallagher stopped them. “No. I’ll carry him. He doesn’t go on that thing in my care.” He stared the hospital staff down before they relented and backed out with the gurney.

  “Gallagher, you sure?” Mallory asked. “I think that’s against hospital policy.”

  He pulled his mask down to his neck. “Oh, I know it is, but this is my policy. He goes back to his parents once more in my arms.” He walked to the table and lifted the small child, too small for his age, into his large arms, cradling him to his chest. “We’re going to take you to see some dinosaurs, Josh.”

  Mallory watched him walk out of the OR suite and down the hall to the ICU. He walked with a purpose, a slow but sure gait, with his wide shoulders and hoisting this tiny boy’s head against it. She’d never forget that vision for as long as she’d live. The scent of lotion wafted her way, reminding her of what else the man tagged as Wolf had done earlier.