And Never Say Goodbye: A Town of Destiny Novel Page 16

  He took the chair next to her and rubbed her knee under the table. Did he realize what that did to her? She wrapped her hand around his, rubbing his fingers…fingers that worshipped her.

  “So, Mallory…tell us,” Becky said, “how is it to work with our Lawson? None of us could ever imagine since he’s so…strict.” She laughed as did the others.

  In a high-pitched voice, he said, “What? I’m not that strict. And McShane knows how I am. You should see her in the OR.” He poured wine into her glass and set the bottle down, not giving himself any.

  His thumb caressed the inside of her knee. She cleared her throat. “Well, when he trained me, I thought that, but now…he’s lightened up. Must be his aging,” she said, grinning at him.

  He feigned flinching at her words. “Aging?”

  “Yeah, my brother is getting up there. Better make me an aunt soon.” She winked at Mallory, making her stiffen.

  Too close to home. She returned her smile.

  Elsa, their personal cook, set Bone China plates before everyone topped with filet mignon, baked mashed potatoes, and string beans. Her mouth watered at the sight and smell. She also couldn’t believe they were rich enough for a chef. Lawson’s quaint house never gave away that he was from money nor has he ever mentioned it to her. This was supposed to be dysfunctional? They made her family look like Little House on the Prairie.

  Becky raised her wine glass for a toast. “Happy birthday, Lawson. May you have many more, Darling.”

  “Here, here,” everyone else said.

  Mallory’s eyes bugged before she shot a glare at Lawson, but he held a small grin without looking at her. She squeezed his thigh, making him cough.

  “Thanks, guys.” He lifted his glass filled with water.

  She clinked her glass with his before drinking the sweet white wine, holding his crinkled gaze over her glass.

  Julia turned to Mallory. “You didn’t know, did you? I can tell, and Lawson hates his birthday…hates getting older.” She tilted her head at her older brother with a teasing sneer. “Don’t you?”

  After swallowing his meat, he said, “Remind me how we’re related again?”

  Rob Gallagher interrupted the sibling banter. “So do you enjoy your work, Mallory? I know how challenging it can be.” He drank his wine and waited, smiling.

  She cleared her throat after swallowing her food. “It is, and I love every minute of it. It can be heart-wrenching for the families, but when you know that another family is delirious with joy, it’s bittersweet.” She drank more wine, needing to numb her mind and tongue.

  He nodded. “Oh, I’m sure. I have patients who need transplants. Even though I sometimes wish Lawson would have gone to medical school, we’re proud. Right, Becky?”

  “That’s right, Dear. Nursing school is just as good.” She winked at Lawson and gave her husband a don’t be an ass look.

  Mallory noticed Lawson flinched when his father had said that. It must hurt to know he never followed completely in his father’s footsteps. She cupped her hand over his knee and lovingly squeezed it this time. “In my opinion, he’s the best.” She felt the need to defend him and share all the good this man brought to his job. “The way he handles the children. He puts lotion on them so they smell good. Yeah,” she said to their shocked faces. She glanced at him to find him staring across at his sister’s wide eyes. “He also has a moment of silence before the patient leaves their family. He has the kindest heart, but he’s humble. You won’t hear him brag.” She couldn’t shut up. Her tongue needed more numbing, and she finished the wine.

  Rob held his fork in mid-air. “Is that right, Son? I never knew.”

  Gallagher cleared his throat. “All part of the job, Dad. You know how it is.”

  Anger filled her as she spoke. “Stop being so humble! He really is the best in there. You know you are, Lawson.”

  Julia added, “He says the same thing about you, Mallory. Says how good you are with the families in getting them to consent when they don’t want to. He’s said that way before you started dating.”

  “Jules,” Lawson said, giving her a warning to cool it.

  Julia scoffed. “What? It’s true. Dad should know about these things. What happens on the other side when you guys are busting your tails to get him or whomever doctor is waiting for their patient’s organ, demanding you hurry it up. I have so much respect for you both.” She glanced at Mallory and smiled.

  Lawson smiled, winking at his sister.

  Mallory was speechless. Here she thought she was ranting, but Julia…Julia. A newfound friendship had just been born. She wanted to hug her, but instead she nodded with a smile.

  His father took a drink of his wine and gave a polite smile before he turned back to his daughter. “So…any news yet?”

  “Just perfect. No, Dad,” Julia said, eyeing her husband and then shooting a look toward Gallagher, who gave a solemn look. She then looked at Mallory. “Do you have kids?”

  She shook her head. “No, not yet.”

  Gallagher looked at her with narrowed eyes and then gave his sister a look of pity. “It’ll happen, guys.”

  Julia shrugged, glancing at Mallory. “We’re trying, but not very successful. I’m just worried because of my age.”

  “Nonsense,” Gallagher said. “You’re only thirty-four. Plenty of time.”

  Julia shook her head. “They start advanced maternal testing at thirty-five.” She held Craig’s hand on the table and smiled. “Sorry for the downer talk.” Her eyes shifted to Mallory.

  If Julia only knew what her promise was, she wouldn’t be apologizing so much. If Lawson knew, he’d throw his hands up and back away. A few men had done that when she had shared it with them. And not really sharing it but more like informing them so they’d know what was what. With Lawson, she wanted to hold onto him longer before his hands would also go up.

  She smiled at the pretty woman whose womb ached to carry a child. “Don’t apologize. I’ve seen enough in my line of work to never judge. I’m sorry you’re going through that.”

  Julia nodded with a weak smile before wiping her cheek, sniffling. “We can always adopt…right, babe?”

  “Right.” Craig kissed his wife’s head. He looked at Mallory then. “It’s really all my fault, something to do with low sperm count. Her body’s just fine.”

  “Stop,” Julia said. “It’s both of us, not just one.”

  Mallory’s heart lurched at their love for each other. Her parents were like that.

  Craig shrugged and glanced at Lawson. “When you gonna go to a Cubs game with me? I have season tickets. How about this weekend?”

  “Sure, if I can get off. It’s been busy.”

  Mallory turned to him. “I’d pitch in for you. You work too hard, Lawson. You need time for yourself.”

  “I like using my time wisely,” he said under his breath, squeezing her leg.

  She rubbed her shoulder against his arm, giving him a shy smile, igniting that stare he saved only for her.

  Julia cut through their googly eyes. “I remember when Lawson used to complain about you when you first came on, and how you drove him crazy. I knew he was falling hard even then.”

  He gawked at her. “I never complained about her.”

  “Yes, you did. All the time. McShane this, McShane that. Remember I told you to just marry her already? I said to stop trying to do the whole town of Destiny? Stop being Wolf and admit you’re a man with real feelings?”

  “Thanks, Jules. Now she knows all my secrets.”

  Mallory laughed. “I already knew about the Wolf thing. He’s named that for how he is in the OR as well, but then I heard rumors, which turned into hearing from the actual women themselves.”

  “I still can’t believe they talked to you about that,” he said, shaking his head.

  Julia coughed. “You’re lucky she’s with you still.”

  Becky and Rob ate quietly, enjoying the dinner banter. She’d glance at her husband with a wry grin and a wi
nk, and he’d give her the same stare Lawson had for her, covering her hand with his and smiling. If this was dysfunctional, then she wanted it all. No one else noticed the love oozing between them, or maybe they were used to it. It was like time froze around them, cocooning them in a bubble. A love bubble. Mallory smiled.

  Lawson continued with his defense. “She knows I’m not like that anymore.” He gave Mallory that intense stare again, holding her hand. “She knows.”

  She smiled at him with a slight nod. “I do.” She now realized he learned that from observing his parents, but where did he learn to distance himself and walk away from all the others? He had to learn it from somewhere. Maybe his mother’s premature death? Wait, he never did tell her how she died. But then again, she didn’t share her life, either.

  Mallory turned to Rob again and asked, “So, you’re a transplant cardiologist, then? I’d love to be on the recipient end and not always see the death.” But she knew all too well death happened on the recipient’s end as well.

  “Yes, but it does happen, and it’s sometimes harder because it’s not expected. Funny how my son ended up on the opposite end of the spectrum. I tell him to be on the recipient end, but he likes to be sad,” he said, chuckling.

  Lawson set his water down. “Not true. I enjoy procuring and being there for those families.”

  She stared off, thinking about promises she didn’t want to keep anymore but had no choice. She felt his hand touch her arm. “I’m sorry…what?” The buzz was hitting her hard. Such a lightweight.

  “There’s an OR time for 3:00 a.m., so we better get going.”

  Her face flushed. “They have consent already? When did that happen?”

  He shrugged. “Not sure. Let’s get you home. You’re in no condition to do it, so I’ll have to go.”

  “But we haven’t had cake yet,” Becky said. “Just real fast, okay?”

  “Fine, but fast.” Lawson cupped Mallory’s chin, smiling into her drunken state.

  “I feel bad. This should have been my donor. I didn’t think there was anything on the board.”

  “Don’t feel bad. I just know how they work. Been doing this for too long.”

  The round cake covered in white frosting and one candle was placed before Lawson. They all sang and clapped when he blew it out after making a wish, a wish he glanced at her before blowing.

  After eating a small piece, they walked them to the door with disappointed faces, but Mallory’s was still numb and heated. She hugged the women and let the men kiss her baked cheek.

  Julia turned to her. “We have to get together sometime, Mallory.” She covered her mouth. “I have a feeling you’ll be around for a long time…forever if my big brother has his way.”

  Lawson laughed. “See? Even my sister knows the truth.” He placed his hand on Mallory’s back.

  “I’d love that. I hope to hear good news from you, whether you’re pregnant or adopting.”

  “Thank you.” She waved along with everyone else.

  He helped her into the truck before running to his side and working the key.

  “Lawson, I’m so sorry for going on with your father like that. I think it was the wine…”

  He turned to her. “I love you, Mallory McShane. You did nothing wrong. My heart grew even bigger for you in there.” He kissed her and smiled. “Thank you for sharing my birthday with me and meeting my family.”

  He sucked on her lips, then probed deeper, probably tasting her wine-soaked tongue. As she swirled her tongue with his, her insides crumbled and rejoiced for his declaration. She wanted his love more than anything, yet she didn’t deserve it.

  She murmured against his lips. “I really wished you told me.” His kiss ignited a fever blistering under the surface down to her toes. She knew the buzz was amplifying it, but it felt delicious. She practically moaned her words. “You’re so sexy. I want Wolf to come out and play with me.” Her hand reached down to touch his stomach and slip into his jeans.

  He growled, holding her wrist. “Oh, believe me, baby, Wolf wants to play, but I need to get you home.” He thrust his tongue into her mouth to keep up with hers between pants. “And I think you might be a little drunk.”

  “Drunk on you. Let’s go park and get in the back for a quickie.” She sucked on his lips, dragging his hand down to her thigh.

  He laughed. “I’d love to, but I forgot the stupid condoms at home. I just bought them tonight and then left them at home. Idiot, right?” His lips trailed down her neck.

  “I don’t care,” she whispered, panting faster. “I want you now, Wolf.”

  He shook his head. “That’s the wine talking, McShane. I know you don’t mean it. Put it back in your pants for now.” He clicked her belt and kissed her nose. “And rest your eyes.” He started to drive, holding her hand after he pulled away from the curb.

  But she didn’t want to rest. She wanted him like she’d never wanted a man before. She knew it was ridiculous to take a chance without a condom, but her body ached for him, throbbed to feel him and not through a damn rubber sheath, but him. The pulse in her lower belly thumped hard, but she’d have to find a way to ignore it, maybe squeeze her legs together and close her eyes, not look at him.

  Sleep became her savior.

  ***

  “Wake up, sleepyhead.”

  Her house loomed ahead of them as she stretched. “Was I sleeping the whole time?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Why did you bring me home? I could have watched Sadie for you.” She wiped her eyes and leaned her head against the rest to look at him.

  “I’ll go home and feed her and let her out once more. She’ll be fine. You need to be at your home, too.” He caressed her face.

  “I still want you. It wasn’t the wine.”

  He leaned close and whispered, “I know. I do, too. But I need to go. It’s already 12:00, and by the time I leave my house…”

  “I get it. I get it.” She kissed him. “You’re a responsible man. I love that.”

  “You keep kissing me like that, and I’ll forget all about my responsibilities.” He turned more into her to give her a deeper kiss, one that sent rockets through her. When he ended it with a groan, he pushed her door open.

  “Kicking me out?”

  “I have to or I’m coming in with you. Now go.”

  She slid out and smiled. “Have a good case. Call me tomorrow when you’re awake, and no stories of how you had to fight off some nurse.” She wagged her finger at him.

  “No worries there. I’m all business now. I’ll call you.” He blew a kiss. “Sweet dreams, doll face.”

  After blowing him a kiss back, she slammed the door and ran up the steps and inside, waving once more before closing her door.

  She still needed to reset all the digital clocks from the power outage, but she decided to leave it for the morning. The house carried a musty smell without her energy there, almost a gloomy feeling, like she was neglecting it.

  This house was everything to her. Everything to her family. It almost felt like she was betraying it…betraying them by having fun and living a life she wasn’t meant to live. While walking up the stairs, she touched the old frames on the wall covered in dust, pictures of her parents enjoying their home at one time.

  A sadness rushed through her, and she had to sit on a step and allow it to pass. Guilt tortured her every passing day she didn’t grant the promise. A promise she’d made so long ago. She wanted to forget about any promises she made and do what she wanted, but that would never be fair to Lawson. He’d be getting only half of her. The other half would be buried in a grave with an unfulfilled oath she had sworn to honor.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Mallory thanked the receptionist and took a seat for her 9:30 appointment. She had forgotten all about it when they had called her a few days ago to confirm. Having made it three months ago, she almost wanted to cancel it. Yet, here she was at her RE’s office for probably the fifth time in seven years.

  Fl
ipping through a magazine to rid herself of the jitters, she’d glaze over articles of assisted reproductive technology, fertility preservation, and sperm Cryobanks. All the information was dizzying. She jumped when her text went off. Smiling when she saw Lawson’s name, she responded, I’m at my OB’s. Get any sleep? It’d been two weeks since his birthday party, but the guilt seeped in for being there.

  Everything ok?

  Yeah, just an annual checkup. She hated lying, but what could she say? The truth?

  Just got home and am missing you. Everyone keeps asking me questions about why I’m not dating or where did Wolf go.

  Lol, I bet!

  A nurse with a swollen belly walked out. “Mallory McShane?”

  “Right here.” I have to go, call when I’m done or I’ll wait for you to wake up and call me.

  I’ll wait. Need to feed Sadie and eat something anyway. Good luck.

  Thanks. If he only knew the luck she needed…or what she needed it for. She followed the pregnant nurse, wondering if that’d be her soon.

  After checking all her vital signs, she said, “Dr. Jackson will be right in.”

  “Thank you.” She wiggled on the table, trying to get comfortable. The slanted degree on the wall begged her to fix it. She itched to do something, anything but sit and wait.

  She swung her legs back and forth, nibbling on her chewed-up nails. Pictures of uteruses glared at her from every angle, taunting her, reminding her why she was there.

  A knock at the door snapped her head to see the attractive middle-aged woman with the serious face walk in. “How are you, Mallory?” She stuck her hand out, offering cold skin.

  “Hello, Dr. Jackson.”

  “It’s been a while.” She smiled and sat at the stool, facing her. “Are we ready to proceed?”

  Her hands began to shake. “I don’t know…”

  The kind doctor touched her knee. “I don’t mean to be…insulting, but you are getting older. Have you changed your mind?”

  Mallory looked up and then back into the doctor’s crinkled eyes. The tears ran hot down her cheeks as she gave in. Her whole body racked with pain.